How I Reached The Heavens

It was an unusually dark day for the Kingdom of Pure Felicity of Lofty Heavenly Majestic Lights and Ornaments, or at least it was until I arrived.  For when my mother, the Empress of Precious Moonlight, gave birth to me, light rushed through the village, flooding the streets with radiant beams.  It seemed that on that day I, Yu Huang, the brand new baby prince, was destined for stardom!

My home where I grew up was in the northern province of China, surrounded by cliffs and hills. Quiet and quaint, my town was the pentipetal of the ancient Middle Kingdom.  When I was young I was educated in the Taoist ways and grew to respect the rituals of our sacred religion.  Taoism taught me the importance of natural harmony, and even more special, the gift of compassion.  Even when I was young, I had heard the tales of how the wise Taoist sages could live incredibly long lives just by meditating and following the Tao.  Of course I knew of the great Lao Tzu, the father of my faith, a man who had reached godliness by following the sacred traditions.  He became my inspiration and on that day I vowed to serve the Tao and its children til I had reached immortality as well.

Finding ways to service others was as simple as pie.  I transformed myself into the epitome of the perfect child, always respecting others, helping the poor, and aiding the ill.  Working myself into a good person came easily and as I grew up I continued to better the lives of my fellow people with my time and talent. To find the Tao and achieve my goals, I would need to be purified.  Compassion, generosity, and mercy altogether are necessary to clean out your soul.  After I had worked out all of the negative energy inside of myself, I was holy enough to go for ascension.

When I was ready to realize the true mystery of the Tao I had to leave behind my town.  I set out to find the way and I ended up at the Bright and Fragrant Cliffs.  The soaring heights, cool air, and most all silence were perfect for my mission.  Then I sat down and began to contemplate the Tao: a mystical force that controls the fate of every organism and every force in the universe.  The power behind the harmony of nature that governs the world.  But what is the Tao?  How does it work?  Where did it come from?  Only by finding the answers to the questions about the Tao can a person gain the mental capacity to extend their very lives.

Eventually I managed to reach the Tao.  A state of calmness and serenity that cannot be described rushed through my being.  Just as I fill my hometown with light, I was flooded by the truth and holiness of the Tao. I became an immortal, but I wasn't done yet.  A million more years were necessary to increase my mental powers. Yeah, it was tedious, but when you're passionate about something, you are willing to give it our all. Even though I had attained supreme strength, I still hadn't become a God.

Opportunity came for me in the form of a grotesque, powerful demon.  Even the Gods were unable to stop the beast!  When all was lost and China was facing impending doom, I, just some random immortal citizen, volunteered as tribute.  I confronted the demon, but not with my fists and sword, rather we would have a duel of the minds.  I was confident that the power of the Tao would protect me, and I knew that I could kill him with my brain.

The tension was mounting; I massaged my temples to try and increase the blood flow to my cerebellum. Even so, I was struggling to keep the monster from overpowering my mind. Finally, much later, I received neurological brain spark and broke the protection dikes of the demon's mind.  As my lie force invaded his, the devil's spirit was flushed out and he was destroyed.

 The Gods were so pleased that they appointed me as the Jade Emperor, head of all deities! I got control of all the heavens, hell and earth.  The best perk though was the comfy chair.   Thus you can see how through a life of piety and focus I went from a commoner you  to an almighty ruler, just like Kate Middleton.  Now the I, Jade Emperor will help you reach your goals of world control too!